Hurt vs. Harm

John 21: 17
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love Me?” He said, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said, “Feed My sheep.”

What grabbed my attention as I reread this verse was the phrase, “Peter was hurt.” I had never noticed that phrase before. The more I reflected on the verse the more I realized a new thought — there will be times that the Lord will hurt me.

Now that may be surprising to you. But if you take a few moments to process that idea I think you’ll realize that I’m right on this. Let me explain.

We have this skewed view of love that says, “If you truly love someone you will never hurt them.” That’s bogus. It’s simply not true. A simple comparison will show you what I mean. Let me ask you a question: Have you ever intentionally “hurt” your kids? Of course you have. Any time you discipline your child, tell your toddler “no”, restrict a teenager’s curfew, or “ground” your adolescent chances are they are “hurt.” And you did it intentionally.

The truth of the matter is that loving people actually “requires” that we hurt them at times. Lovingly removing a splinter from a child’s finger will hurt your child. Lovingly not giving in to a two-year old’s temper tantrum will hurt your child. Lovingly washing out your son’s scraped knee will hurt him. But in each of these cases it’s for their own good. Even though it causes them pain.

Why is it, then, that we don’t expect the Lord to ever “hurt” us? We are told in Hebrews 12 that the Lord will chasten and discipline His children. Just as we have to discipline our own kids, God the Father needs to discipline us. It says in Hebrews 12:11, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” There will be times that God the Father will deliberately cause pain in your life. It’s part of being a parent!